欺凌/Trolls?

早前小朋友跟我講到他覺得自己在學校被人欺負的情況，了解之後明白情況不太嚴重，而和他傾談之下，他也明白自己都有可以改善的地方。不過當我在和小朋友傾談，聆聽他的想法的時候，我都心想自己小時候好像沒有被欺負的情況，最嚴重也只不過是被一兩個人冷對待。好像想不到什麼自身經驗和女兒分享，想不到這兩天就立刻在網上遇到這個情況，其實也只是一件小事。不過都想知道欺凌的正式定義是什麼，便上網看看。讀着讀着漸漸變了從第三方角度看自己的小經歷，反而覺得自己之前生氣有些可笑有些無聊，其實也沒有什麼好生氣的。

但希望這個經驗可以幫到我將來萬一小朋友有類似經歷的時候，我可以設身處地地引導他講出自己的想法，幫助他找到如何面對被欺負的方法...當然最好小朋友沒有這個需要。亦都要記住不要胡亂稱呼小朋友做欺凌者或受害者，這樣標籤小朋友會有負面影響。

以下是幾段關於網上欺凌的定義和提議，以此為記。

Poisoning the well (or attempting to poison the well) is a type of informal fallacy where adverse information about a target is preemptively presented to an audience, with the intention of discrediting or ridiculing something that the target person is about to say. (wiki, finmasters.com)

Internet trolls intentionally try to provoke or offend others in order to elicit a reaction. Trolls and cyberbullies do not always have the same goals: while some trolls engage in cyberbullying, others may be engaged in comparatively harmless mischief. A troll may be disruptive either for their own amusement or because they are genuinely a combative person. […...] (wiki - cyberbullying)

The methods and motivations of trolls can range from benign to sadistic. (wiki – trolls)

What to do if you are being trolled (Centre for Countering Digital Hate (CCDH)’s advice):

• Don’t respond

• Block the trolls’ accounts

• Don’t post online that you’re being targeted

• Take some time out from social media [……] (BBC)

What should you do if you realise you have trolled someone?

“If you have done it without knowing it or done it in the heat of the moment, as an act of revenge or retaliation, then you should apologise in writing as soon as possible. A written apology can go a long way,” said Dr Griffiths. (BBC )

Why we shouldn’t label a child “bully” or ‘victim”: https://www.bullyfree.sg/bullying/labeling-a-child/